WELCOME TO MY WORLD (◕‿-): Januari 2012

hi there guys..

okay, the reason i made this note is *drumroll*

describe about the someone i love until now -> Kim

we've been know each other since Dec 2009 after i know her sister, Yeonni-chan :3

so yeaah this is it.

So, i made a facebook account because my friend begged me too, so i made it after my birthday (made this acc maybe around Nov 28 2009, and my bday is Nov 21). And that year is the 1st year i know KPOP, so i know a little bit about Korea at that time. Then, my friend who begged me to make a facebook account has a korean friend, because i really want to know korean people if i found it one day. So, i added her first from my friend's friendlist. Her name is Lee Yeon Hyeo. You can call her Yeon Hyeo or Yeonni. She is 1 year older than me, i want to call her unnie, but she refused it because we already call each other by names. So, after day by day until Dec 2009, i became best friend with Yeonni-chan. And one day, i asked her who's her relationship to. Yeonni's relationship status with "Lee Hyuk Jae" name. i know lee hyuk jae is Eunhyuk from Super Junior. But i know that's not Eunhyuk, because Eunhyuk doesn't have a facebook account, he just had a cyworld at that time. Well, she answered that's his brother. She said that i have to make as secret because she doesn't want everyone know about it at that time, and that's just for fun ^_^ Because of that, i want to know her brother too, so i added him. i don't remember when he accept my friend request, but that doesn't matter. One day, there's one new notification that pops up when i chatted with yeonni-chan. That new notification is an accepted request from Yeonni's brother. So, after that a new chat pops up. That's from that "Lee Hyuk Jae" dude a.k.a Yeonni's brother and that chat said "Thanks for added me" then i said "Your welcome". So we began to chat at that time, until i asked Yeonni what he's doing, and i told that boy he must be doing this and that. And he confused at that time, and thought me as a spy, lol. but yeah i told me him the truth, i'm Yeonni's friend, Hana from Indonesia. Then he said "OHH SO THAT EXPLAINED EVERYTHING.. Hello there, you're that Hana that Yeonni been talked too. So that explained Hyeona". So after that we introduced ourself, and i began know his name, Lee Kim Seoung Park. And called him by Kim. I called him Kim oppa at that time, because he's older than me by 4 years. Until that night, i had to went to sleep, so i said that i have to go, and i was jokingly said don't dream me, and on tomorrow okay! you'll be dead. then he replied "i won't. haha! okay, if you're not on tomorrow, you're noob." i remembered that "noob" word because of him lol. So yeaah, the next day, i waited him for online. Because that day on Sunday, i can waited for him on that day, but he didn't online. And, on the same time.. i felt missed him.. and i confused why i felt that way? but i refused to not think about it. One week passed by, One new chat pops up! that's from Kim. He felt sorry for not online on that last sunday, and i said it's okay" then we chatted again. We began to know each other and added each other on YM (Yahoo Messenger). i got his email from his sister, Yeonni of course :). I spent my new year holiday chatted with that Lee siblings. I felt greatful that i can know them, and i thankful for the God.

2010. that new year comes. and when new year ends, school started again. My daily activities continued as usually. But there's a new daily routine that i did almost everyday, that's chatted with Kim, and his sister Yeonni. So that day, Jan 16 2010, the day i confessed my feelings to him. i confessed my feelings to him on that day with Yeonni-chan's support. And that day, i really nervous about what will be the answered. He replied that he likes me too same as i do. He likes me when that first met that same as i felt. i was really happy & shy. But that day i start made a mistake to Yeonni and made her heartbroken. And that mistake is serious. i felt really bad at that time, i told him about my problem, he gave me some advice to make me & Yeonni relationship went back. Finally, we've become friends again because of his help. Already 2 month passed by, from Dec 2009 - Jan 2010 already not there. February 2010 comes. My day shine because of these 2 special people, Yeonni & Kim. Jan 7 2010, special day that i couldn't forget. My 1st relationship with him, with Yeonni's help, i asked him to be my bf, i know it's unusual but i can't stand of this feelings. At first, he declined it because he said i was too young to have a relationship, but after that he accepted if i promised that we will meet each other when my age 18 later. Jan 17 2010, my relationship date with him. i was really happy that i finally could be his gf. And i really happy to have such a great bf as him. i love him no matter what. But we began to rarely to chat each other, he was so busy with his school. And i broke with him around Sep 2010? (don't remember) because i was stupid to love somebody when i had a relationship with him. I confused to choose which that i loved, and i broke up with him because of that. But my relationship with my new bf is not that long, we just been through just by couple weeks, but he broke up with me because i was rare online, and he got a new gf. I was back to be single again until 2011. i just focused with my studies on that time because i have to passed the national exam, so i studied hard for that. And that announcement on July, i was passed! i really happy. So 1/2 half year, not communicated with Kim. Yeonni-chan been busy too. So, i didn't have someone who talk with it. August 2011, i became officially a Senior High School student as a 10th grader. Day by day, this High School Life was so busy with Homeworks, exams, etc. That i just could online on my cellphone, and sometimes in my dad's lappy. October 27, 2011. Yeonni and I chatted again. I missed her a lot. I talked everything to her. And she said oppa's sent me a message. So, i opened it, and my tears fallen down as i read it.

Dear Hana.. It's been a long time.Remember Pupu and Lollipop?I guess you never remembered ;')..It's okay.. You don't have to feel bad or anything.It's entirely fault for not telling you I'm studying abroad which makes me harder to have free time cause I'm struggling for my future.Believe me I always remembered you and seeing you one day is one of my biggest dreams. It's really okay if you want to break up with me ..I understand Just remember to be happy and I will always be right here if you need me..I can guess that you have feelings for other person it's just that I tried hard not to do anything about it. You meant a lot to me and your happiness is better than anything.Oh and.. I hope this year you would have a beautiful birthday. May God bless you alright?Just to let you know..I am always in love with you.And you should be happy..without me. ;')

xx,

Kim Seoung Park

i felt guilty that i did this to him. He still care about me. He's not the one who bad, but i am. I chatted with him on messages with tears on my eyes. It just i've been chosen the wrong guy besides him. I realized that he's the right guy for me. Until he said that i had to forget him, because he already had a gf. He lives in Aussie because of his studies. So, i just wished him to be happy with her. I would try to forget him. And he said thanks for me, and good bye because maybe that was the last chat between us..

That was the last chatted for that time. I've been through not talked with him until my 15th birthday on Nov 21, last year and that day, his 19th birthday. On 1st Dec, new message pops up, that was from Kim. He said happy Belated birthday for me. I was happy because he still remember my birthday that's the same birthday as him. We began to started chatted and we talked like normally like old times and he still like he does, never change. That December is a miracle for me. He asked me to call him with Kim, because he doesn't wanna looks old. lol. And i remembered on Tuesday, forgot the exactly date, we chatted one day all along, from morning until evening. He even told jokes and act like a kid even he is not a kid anymore. But i like that personality. That day we talked like said babo each other, tease and act like enemy and a kid. And played status as a chat too. i called him KSP, and he called HPF. That's our inisial names. We act like we were in the relationship again. We said i love you each other and kissed each other. I asked him why he act like that to me, then he said sorry for what he act, and he thought that i didn't love him anymore. I can't stand what he just said, i began to be honest that i still love for him. and i started to cried that night because i still felt guilty to make him hurt even though he said he was fine. But i just feel that he was hurt, he didn't do anything when he knew i liked someone else. I said sorry many many times until i stand down for him because i just couldn't stand it. He said that i don't have to cry about it. But i replied just sorry, and i asked him if he could offered his shoulders, so i could cry even though that didn't happened. But i asked that, because i wanted to feel my feelings to him again, as in really happened that i could lie to his shoulder. He said that it's going to be alright. And he said that that was just a dream, because i could fine another guy who's better. I just cried. He said "Do you know why big girls can cry all they want? Because they can be honest to theirself, which make it better". I can't forget that word until now. I thankful for him on that day. I let my guilty feelings out. I stopped chatted with him before christmas for a while, because i went out of town until new year. And he already got back on 30th Dec, 2011 to Aussie while i was still having holiday out of town. As i got back, Jan 4, 2011, i just let my cellphone on, so my ym, twitter is always online. Jan 5th, 2012 i started with daily routine activity like school, outdoor activity, courses, class, etc.

Jan 14th,2012. He finally online. He replied my ym chatted. But i felt sorry for him because i was always replying lately to him T^T gomene ne kim-kun~ He replied on Jan 20th 2012, "Hey Hana, sorry for yesterday. I just ley my ym on without telling you i got to do something. very sorry :(" i replied him, so we chatted. And i accidently called hiim cupcake, because i think about cupcakes at that time. And i don't know that cupcakes is a name for his ex gf when he know his gf. Mianheyo~ the right one is Cookie! X3 Chocolate Cookie :D we're Chocolate Cookie lmaoooo =)) and he said he already like someone else, then i asked who is it, he replied someone else that i probably know well who that person. Then, i asked him just say it. He replied in his status, and his status said "You". i realized that it was me. i really greatful that he still likes me like i do. That conversation make our relationship get closer. I just hoped that we can be together like last time we did. But i already happy this way, i'm happy because i can still chat with him and he doesn't change any a bit. He even still act like a kid. makes me love him more, lol. Yesterday, he sent a Long Distance video couple, and it was really sweet until i cried. And it made me thought that relationship happened to us. But i was proud of it, because he always make me feel better everyday, even last sunday i scared because i watched horror movies in my friend's house. He said that horror movies is boring. Well, he does right. Just with the screamings and the ghost. Thanks a lot for everything. I've been through a great life with you. You make my life complete. I always love you, Kim :* (don't forget his sister does help me at the beginning, thanks a lot Yeonni-chan) :) and oh yes, i already know he really look like, twice! i know it yesterday. i was right all day long, that was him. But because when i saw it first in my cellphone, i ignore it. But, he said that i already saw it. And FINALLY I KNOW HIS FACE! YAAAAY.. GOTCHA KIM! LOL :)) i love you no matter what kim :*

this is the video that Kim sent it to me -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XlxEvbb2ddQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player

here it is, enjoy:

here's the original post (i posted first on my fb) > http://www.facebook.com/notes/hwang-hana/about-my-love-life-with-kim-long-distance-relationship-328740-miles/10150527893004823

안녕하세요~ ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ
hey bloggers :3 long time no see you, miss ya bloggers :D
so, today i don't go to school, cuz i'm sick T_T but maybe tomorrow i could go to school.. it's been 2 days i'm sick -_____- :p and i have so many homework (ooo__999)
okay, now i really hungry right now, and i can't eat spicy food, cuz it will make my stomachache worse than ever 0.0 lmaooooo :))
i really miss the old days~ and yeaa, i miss d'c2g alot <3
i wanna meet you guys! let's meet each other okay?
:)
d'c2g is cover dance group, not really :p but we have been know each other in 2009 :)
firstly, i knew natalia :) i don't know if i add her first or she added me first in fb :/ oh well, i knew her because she likes shinee onew a lot at that time :p but now, she's really addicted to TEENTOP :3 and YunJae (Yunho and Jaejoong) (^_^) and then i knew nadya (the maknae) she is the same age as natalia :) and i think i added her first, and she really likes to make fanfic when i added her :3 after long time knowing her, she had an idea, that's make a group xD so, she put me as a member and of course natalia too ;) the group have 5 members (like f(x)) so, there's 2 people that i don't know at first, so i added 2 more friends (~^_^)~ there's erica and intan :) i know erica first, she is really the most talkative friend (like me) xD i mean really, we like to laugh alot :)
she is the same age as me, but she's my junior, she still in the 9th grade, and she's natalia's friend xD then, lastly intan, she's older than me, so she's the leader of the group ;] when i added her first, she's the mysterious one for me, cuz we rare to talk a lot at that time, but time passed by, we became like to talk each other even talk about someone that we like :') but i really sad when i heard that she moved to Malaysia for studies, but it's okay.. and we still even talk in twitter or fb :D

they're my special people <3 thanks for everything, you guys make my life changed